X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine IMDB Link
Directed By: Gavin Hood
Written By: David Benioff & Skip Woods
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston
I think we all could tell before seeing X-Men Origins: Wolverine that it was a C-level comic book movie, especially after we were all treated to The Dark Knight which wasn’t built on action but rather intense drama from the characters and story. So instead of pulling a Wolverine and enhancing the dumb lets just point out the dumb.

Why did they use CGI for his claws in the bathroom? Couldn’t they tell that it looked like some 1994 CGI?
Why did Striker send Agent Zero to kill Wolverine only to reveal after Agent Zero dies that he has adamantium bullets, you know, the kind of bullets that can actually kill Wolverine? Did I mention Agent Zero has sick aim? Ugh.
What were certain characters mutant powers? I couldn’t tell half of them because it seemed like they all had the ability to run wicked fast, climb walls, jump 40 feet in the air and land like a ninja.
Will i Am-never mind. Too easy.
How did Striker have 2020 computer technology in the 80’s? And did they really expect us not to snicker when he was controlling Deadpool like a 1980’s text based computer adventure game? “Walk towards Wolverine” “Decapitate” “Congratulations Striker, you win!” *beep boop*
Let’s bring up a line of dialogue that I will not enhance for comedic value. You decide how funny it was. “Back to back!”
Why did Gambit go from having a New Orleans accent to a Texan accent to having no accent? And when did Gambit’s mutant ability involve being able to float cards and launch them with some sort of telekinesis? And why did they have to introduce him and then ruin him? And why…forget it.
How about when Striker picks up the adamantium bullets and proclaims “I will wipe his memory” instead of “I’m going to kill him”
I think we all can agree that the better ending would have been Wolverine in an explosion only to walk out with no skin and only his adamantium with the Terminator drum music thumping followed by Optimus Prime duking it out with him on Venus in the 3rd alternate worm hole reality of 3018. That would have been at least a little less dumb.
Filed under: Action, Science Fiction | 1 Comment
Tags: Dumb, movie review, X-Men Origins: Wolverine

OK, so Wolverine’s claws are ridiculously sharp. So sharp that when he brushes up against a sink he slices it clean in half.
But at other times, he uses his claws to grab hold of things, like vehicles or even people. When he tries to lift someone up with his claws, shouldn’t he just slice right through them?
For some reason this is what most bothered me about the film.