Erin Brokovich (2000) or: How I Learned to Hate the Nesting Story-Line

13May09

Erin Brokovich IMDB Link

Directed By:Steven Soderbergh

Written By:Susannah Grant

Starring:Julia Roberts

There is a certain plot device/story element that never works in a movie and yet is used over and over countless times; I like to call it the “nesting story-line” and it drives me absolutely bat shit insane.

Imagine there is a film titled Charles Barkley Saves the Galaxy From Eunuch Aliens. You go in with certain expectations of that film, more notably that Charles Barkley will be in it and eunuch aliens will be threatening the galaxy. We meet Sir Charles and find out that he holds the key to saving the entire galaxy and if he doesn’t succeed then everyone in the galaxy will die a horrible death. How does he save the galaxy from the terrible eunuch alien empire? Well by saying “just…just turrible” the way only Sir Charles can say it. With his trusty sidekick Kenny the Jet they go around killing these eunuch aliens and it’s awesome, it’s everything you wanted the movie to be until the “nesting story-line” rears it’s ugly head.

For some reason, the screenwriter of Charles Barkley Saves the Galaxy From Eunuch Aliens decided that a third of the movie should be devoted not to Charles Barkley or the eunuch aliens but rather his whiny wife and kids. Not one scene or two, no, you the viewer will be subjected to a third of movie where the wife and kid complain that Charles just isn’t spending enough time at home with lots of emo tears and slamming doors cause god dammit, saving the galaxy just isn’t important enough.

This shit never works. Ever. All it is is extremely and incredibly annoying. Everyone in the audience is yelling out “listen you whiny bitches, if he doesn’t save the galaxy everyone will die. He can miss one birthday goddammit. And when did I sign up for this? I wanted to watch Charles Barkley Saves the Galaxy from Eunuch Aliens to see Charles Barkley own eunuch aliens and save the mother fucking galaxy. I didn’t buy a ticket to Charles Barkley Saves the Galaxy Until His Whiny Baby Family Members Complain Like the Whiny Little Bitches They Are“

I want you to think back on how many movies were ruined by this “nesting story-line” and ask yourself why they put this in. Some might think I’m being insensitive and not in tune with women and kids which brings me to Erin Brokovich. This film is about Erin Brokovich, a real life woman with no law background who finds out the big bad corporation is ruining people’s lives and stands up to them and wins. People are aware of the Erin Brokovich story because she’s just so darn sassy and fun to watch.

Now, the film has the “nesting story-line” but the genders are reversed. Did I still hate it even though it was a man staying at home and not a woman? Fuck. Yes. Let me say that again. Fuck. Yes. I do not care about Aaron Eckhart and Erin’s whiny little bitch kids complaining about mommy. You know why? I came to see a movie about someone interesting and extraordinary achieve something that matters, not some whiny biker boyfriend and bitch little kid complaning like every other whiny biker boyfriend and bitch little kid on the planet.

The “nesting story-line” has to go, seriously. It’s so bad that if I were ever given the opportunity to produce or direct anything of significance it would always be on my mind as a “never do this, never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever”

By the way, I would totally see Charles Barkley Saves the Galaxy from Eunuch Aliens

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Tags: Charles Barkley, Erin Brokovich, Eunuch Aliens, movie review, Nesting Storyline